Anger is a natural, usually a healthy human emotion as it is the part of flight or fight response to fear and threat situations. But when it gets out of proportion and turns destructive not only for the relationships and career but also for the overall quality of your life and sometimes even the life itself. Anger can be a good servant but it is always a bad master.
Anger must not be suppressed as it may cause physical, mental or emotional problems. It requires a person to identify anger at an early stage and to manage it to avoid its negative outcomes. Anger management involves a range of skills that can help with recognizing the signs of anger and handling triggers in a positive way. Coping with anger is an acquired skill that anyone can learn to control the feelings with time, patience, and dedication. Following simple tips can help you manage your anger in a better way:-
1. When You Are Angry Hold Your Tongue
Never ever utter a single word when you are angry as most of the time you have to feel sorry about it later. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same. Your words carry the same energy that your mind is resting at time of their thinking, uttering, reading and listening. Therefore, it is always better not to speak when your mind is not resting at peace.
2. Express Your Anger When Your Mind is at Peace
It is not advisable to suppress your anger as it may cause physical, mental or emotional problem in long run. As soon as you’re thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but non-confrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them. Learn to disagree without being disagreeable. Keep the tone of your words as sweet as you love to hear from others.
3. Indulge in Some Physical Activity
Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities. Keep in minds that don’t attempt any physical activity that require high level of mental concentration when your mind is fuming with anger.
Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of relaxation might help you feel better prepared to handle what’s ahead without getting irritated or angry. Don’t over stress your body and know your limits. Knowing when to relax is as important as knowing how to relax.
5. Focus on Solutions instead of Problems
Sometimes, our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our lives. As every lock has its key, every problem has its solution. But sometimes we are searching the key in a wrong key chain. It adds to our frustration when most of our possible solutions are not working. In such a situation resolve to give your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn’t come right away.
6. Don’t Blame Others
To avoid criticizing or placing blame that might only increase tension, use “I” statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, “I’m upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes” instead of “You never do any housework.”
7. Don’t Hold a Grudge
For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.
8. Use Humour to Release Tension
Laughing and humour can be used as the best tools to release anger and tension. But avoid sarcasm, as it can hurt feelings and make things worse.
9. Take it Easy
When your temper flickers, put “Take it easy” policy to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as “It will not last forever” You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses etc. to encourage relaxation.
10. Know When to Seek Help
When you find yourself unable to manage your anger, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Even your near and dears can be of good help at times. Mind it there are consultant in the market just to help people, they are also well qualified. Therefore, seeking their help will not undermine your situation. But at times they will show you a totally different perspective of the situation and help you to take well informed decision,
Always keep in mind the words of famous British churchman and historian, “Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot help.”
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